In search of Struwwelpeter

Little Baby Laugh (yeah right! 🙄) A Lot has been hibernating for a few months now, but she is soon to be awoken from her peaceful slumber. She doesn't yet know it, but we're taking her on tour with us. 6 dates performing our play Th'Air BnB. She'd better not kick off when she does find out, mind, 'cos I've had about enough of her tantrums. She was a nightmare on the way to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival last August, moaning most of the way about how long the journey was taking. What did she expect - it's fucking Edinburgh! I think she thought we were going to Edgeware. I did show her the map of the UK, but she insisted I was showing her a picture of a dragon! 🤷🏻

However, I'm more than prepared for 'dolly dramas'! Got a Twirl at the ready (that was hard to buy as a vegan. Like buying a bottle of Rémy when you're teetotal 😩); a brand new K-Pop t-shirt, and if she's still kicking off, I'll tell her that if she stops acting like a diva for just one fucking second, we can go to Hamleys for a day this summer to make new friends. She instantly pals up with the Bedtime Bella Rag Dolls. They love her. They all take it in turns to swing in her seat.

So I'm pulling out all the stops - and I've bloody got to. You've heard her laugh, can you imagine what her cry sounds like?!

Well, put it this way, she gives Noddy Holder a run for his money. This Christmas she almost deafened me with her persistent screaming. I threatened her - "if I hear it's fucking Christmas one more time, I'm going to throw you into the saucepan and serve you up as mulled wine." Did the trick, so now I need a similar tactic. Maybe offering treats isn't the way forward. I could try scaring her into not misbehaving - but what with?.... 🤔 Well, there's always... I mean, well, it's Easter coming up, isn't it? And Mr Bunny is known for hacking the fingers off naughty dollies - the furry-eared equivalent of Struwwelpeter. Yeah, maybe I'll run with that one.

I'd better not wish for too much silence though. Baby LOL has a terrible habit of not delivering her laugh on cue during our performances. It's not as if she's got a bunch of lines to remember and recite - not like Dave and I both do. All she has to do during Act One is take a deep breath and let out what feels like a 5 minute cackle; much like a possessed hyena. Doesn't matter how much I punch her in the stomach though- she's as tight-lipped as a gnat's chuff, making me look a right idiot. The gag I've set up requires her to laugh on cue. Brand new batteries don't work either; she's just a cunt, playing up!

Come meet the little brat this spring; she'll be on tour with us for the following dates:

🎭 Southend - 4th Dixon Studio, Southend Theatres

🎭 Manchester - 5th The Peer Hat

🎭 London - 8th The Marquis

🎭 Brighton - 13th Lantern Theatre Brighton

🎭 Margate - 14th Tom Thumb

🎭 Headcorn - 15th Headcorn Village, Kent

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